“When you make a donation, you look like you’re being tortured,” Michael once heard from his wife. This story might resonate with many of us. We know that helping others is the right thing to do, but why is it sometimes so difficult to part with money, even when we’re certain it’s going to a good cause?
The Inner Conflict of a Donor
Michael, the protagonist of this story, honestly admits: despite all attempts to maintain the right mindset and smile while making donations, the internal discomfort persists. His experience raises an important question: should one continue with charitable giving if it causes such inner conflict?
Three Keys to Finding Joy in Giving
Renowned spiritual mentor Zeev Urman offers three important principles that can help each of us reframe our relationship with charity:
- The Law of Return Donated funds don’t simply disappear—they return to us in various ways. By helping others, we become participants in a global process of mutual aid, and this invariably brings positive results into our lives.
- Investment in the Future When we donate money, we’re not losing it but investing in our future. Unlike regular expenses that disappear forever, charity creates long-term value—both for the recipient and the giver.
- The Value of Overcoming It’s precisely the difficulties that make our actions more meaningful. If giving is challenging for you, but you do it anyway—it means you’re overcoming your internal barriers, and that’s especially valuable.
What to Do When Giving Feels Difficult?
Instead of giving up on charity, try:
- Starting with small amounts
- Tracking the results of your help
- Remembering that discomfort is normal and can be part of the growth process
- Practicing regular donations to develop a habit
Conclusion
Charity is a skill that can and should be developed. Like any other skill, it requires practice and patience. Even if giving feels difficult now, keep at it. Over time, you’ll be able to find real joy and satisfaction in the process.
Remember: what matters is not just the act of giving itself, but also the personal growth we achieve by overcoming our internal barriers.
